Five Awesome Dive Bars

I have a love of dive bars. For me, ‘dive bar’, is a term of endearment; in fact, the divier the better. But, what is a dive bar? You know those swanky clubs with the velvet loops? Doormen dressed in zoot suits and little umbrellas and trinkets adrift in your vibrantly colored, overpriced cocktails? The ones with names like, Angel's Tit or Anus Burner. Well, you won’t find any of these things at a dive bar. Good dive bars aren’t chic or elegant; they aren’t showy or ostentatious. Handwritten signs adorn their walls, beer stains their carpets, cigarette burns ring their bar and the bathroom key will usually be attached to a car battery; one that you will have to lug down the alley to a uni-sex, single, closet sized stall. Yes, a good dive bar ain’t necessarily pretty, but they have a certain pedigree that the posh clubs rarely attain; great bartenders, cheap drinks and good conversation. If you don’t find these things appealing, then dive bars aren’t for you.

So, without further ado, here are five awesome dive bars I have discovered and rediscovered time and time again in San Francisco. Let me know yours!

Hotel Utah: For the lover of live indie music and great bang for your drinking buck, this bar is the bee’s knees; which is a really weird saying that makes no sense, but seems to be an accepted for good.

This is one of our favorite dive bars. Located at the corner of 4th & Harrison, an area in transition and lost somewhere on the slide of gentrification, this bar is worth riding the rails of the crazy train, aka, the #48 to. Even though gentrification is a loaded word and a great euphemism; like calling waitresses food servers or stewardesses flight attendants, the location is part of the reason Hotel Utah works so well.

The area itself is perhaps 1000 square feet of usable space; and this is one establishment that capitalizes on every inch of that space. There is a long wooden bar, from end to end, with enough space for patrons to line up—one deep. No matter the day of week, there is a line leading from that one deep, out the door and snaking around the block. The drinks are good, the bartenders great.

What sets this bar apart from others is that it has a ‘listening room’, where live music is performed. As a guest, you grab your food and brew at the lively bar, but once you enter the listening room and pull the curtain behind you, the whole vibe changes and you listen to musicians presenting their art and selling their songs. On the occasions we have come here—(and there have been many)--there has been no table service in this area, which is a great thing. The audience is quiet, respectful and engaged in the performance. The ‘listening room’, is dimly and curtained. Walls plastered in stickers from performers past , present and future, reminding me of a surf shack or skateboarders shop. There is also a small upstairs section, perched nearly on top of the small stage. This is a great section, carved in the semblance and size, as to be the hull of a ship! Note: very uncool to chat while sitting in this section, because the sound pours right on the heads of the performers.

The ‘sound guy’, dreadlocks dangling down his back, performs double duty as the cook, busser, dishwasher and barback. He is a demon of multi-tasking, and seems to actually care about every part of the bar.

Hobson’s Choice: Hobson’s Choice is located in the Haight/Ashbury District, right on the corner of Haight/Clayton. Hobson’s Choice is a Rum House and it is spectacular. Featuring 34 different varieties of this Carribean elixir and an incredible Happy Hour which runs from (time). In the true tradition of the dive bar, they don’t scrimp on the alcohol. During their HH, they have $3.00 rum punches.

Venture upstairs. Here you will find shabby, frayed couches, oversized chairs, dining room tables, and a television. The room itself is cozy with lots of windows and walls that have been painted and patched a few too many times. It’s a mish-mash of eclectic vibes and aromas from decades past.

540 Club: This bar in the inner Richmond district at 7th & Clement. It is one of my fave bars in the nabe. Filled with locals--(and the occasional Rock Star Baseball Icon)-- you can sit outside in a tattered and torn black banquet chair and enjoy one of the best Bloody Mary’s, made from scratch, on the non-descript patio, I have noticed that the price ranges from $5.00 to $7.00 for said Bloody Mary, depending on the bartender; but I have also noticed that they are always worth every penny, EVERY time! With awesome beers on tap, cool/chill staff, CHEAP drinks, some B-rated movie running in the background, this is 'almost' the perfect dive bar. I say 'almost' because of the bathrooms; they are clean, stocked, maintained and don't come with a key attached to a tire. So close, 540...so close.

The Bitter End: This bar is cavernous in the most magical sense. It’s huge! Located in the inner Richmond, at 4th/ Clement, this bar is truly a leader in its class—of dive bars that is.

To start with the most important factor of any bar, dive or otherwise; the drinks! Here, the well liquors are premium. The drinks are fast, cheap and good.

They serve food beginning at 5p.m. and the menu ranges from pub grub and beyond; salmon, Get those fries covered in Poutine and call it a good day. Pool tables and a a medival knight hanging from the ceiling, this space is worth a visit.

#sanfrancisco